Authenticity in Marriage

"I'm getting divorced!"

As a Christian woman, those are three words you never expect to say.  In reality, those three words are said among Christians more than non-Christians.

But, why?!

On Sunday, September 10th, my husband and I will be celebrating 2 years of marriage. When I first got married, I was the happiest I had ever been.  God had sent me a wonderful man who loved Him, me, and our families.  He treated me amazing, provided in a way I never experienced, and loved me unconditionally. I mean, who wouldn't love that?! So, again I say, "Why is the divorce rate so high?"

Let's fast forward to a few months into our marriage, after the "honeymoon phase" wore off.  When I realized I hated how loud he snored EVERY NIGHT.  When the petty disagreements turned into arguments. When silence and frowns began to replace laughter and smiles.  When you know it's unhealthy to go to bed mad, but it still happened.  

I'd be lying if I said that the past two years have been easy.  In fact, they have probably been two of the hardest years thus far.  So hard that I have found myself understanding why women wind up saying, "I'm getting divorced!"  

Before I met my husband, I had been SUPER SINGLE for a few years.  I mean, I can't even recall going on any dates during that time. Not to mention, that was the same time God made me leave Atlanta and go back home. Talk about depression! It took awhile for me to accept God's timing and plan.

So, what does this have to do with authenticity in marriage? Well, after I realized my situation was not changing, I began to grow and develop authentically.  I started getting more connected to God through church, personal devotion, and bible study.  Afterwards, God helped me to embrace every bit of myself and my life. Eventually, I realized God's reasoning for changing my life the way He did.

During my time in Atlanta, I had embraced a life that "I" created instead of the one God had planned. He knew marriage was in His plan for me and if I didn't grow authentically, I would not be prepared to embrace someone else so deeply. Looking back, I realized that in order for God to get to me to that point, He needed me to start from the beginning. Which is why He brought me back home.

Over the past two years, I have learned that marriage requires you to fight! Fight for your love, spouse, personal development, and more.  If I had not listened and obeyed God during my journey to authenticity, I would still be the woman that lived in Atlanta. If I had gotten married in that state of being, I would have given up on my husband and marriage by now. Back then, I was so focused on my dreams that the level of fighting required for marriage would have been unbearable. 

So, here's to two years of marriage and to God for helping me embrace my authenticity.  My prayer is that we can continue to fight the right enemy (satan) and avoid those three treacherous words, "I'm getting divorced!"